Mar 1, 2007
This evening I heard about a guy who's unfortunately rather lazy. He's in his early 20's, college educated, and has never had a job - nor any real drive to get a job. The worst part is, his parents continue to give him everything he needs to live an independent life, without working. He's a classic gen-x'er (I think). His parents are immigrants who are each remarkable people in their own right. They came here with nothing, not even speaking the language, and now live the American dream (sans white picket fences). It's remarkable how often I see this scenario.
I was discussing this issue with a friend today, and we were considering why it is that so many parents - who are so motivated and accomplished - end up with kids who are so unmotivated. Is it even the parent's fault? Could it be that a percentage of the population is simply born lacking motivation?
We agreed that it's probably a little bit of how people are born, but mostly how they're raised. I went on to consider what parents can do - how they find the middle ground between providing opportunities for their kids, while developing a solid appreciation for what they've got - as well as a solid work-ethic.
We discussed how when raising a child, one can't really "teach" them how to have a good work ethic - with a specific goal in mind. Rather, the approach should be one of creating a good framework within which children can experience a nurturing environment that espouses an appreciation for achievement - and setting goals that are attainable, yet challenging. An essential element to this is to keep kids hungry. Regardless of your ability to provide everything for your kids - from the age of ~ 14, I believe it's healthy to begin showing them that they can't expect to rely on their parents much longer for financial support. Give them jobs to do - rather than chores (which they can earn money from). For example: rather than "force" your kids to mow the lawn (a chore) - pay them to be your landscaper, by letting them pick which plants and shrubs to plant, learning how to keep the ph balance of the soil just right, maintaining a compost heep, etc... this way they have a vested interest, and can develop a sense of self-confidence because they are the ones who make the big decisions. Soon they'll be doing it more for the challenge than the money - and you won't have to remind them to mow the lawn because they'll be excited to do it. Landscaping is an easy one because it's very public, and easy for your kids to be recognized for it. Every neighbor and visitor will be impressed with their work & likely let them know it.
If you don't have a yard, or if yours is simply too big - help your kids get a job - no matter how "menial" you think it is. Let them work for someone who sees them as nothing more than an employee - so they can develop social skills with adults, and have an appreciation for money that someone else other than a family member gave them.
Labels: Life_Tools, Philosophy
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I agree with you, work experience is definitely imperative for High School students. I remember some of my friends whose parents would not allow them to hold a part time job; they thought it would get in the way of their school work. Those kids were much less well-adjusted and took a longer time to enter the work force. Most of them only have one job on their resume to speak for their life experience. I bussed tables during 10th grade and and then started hostessing and serving until I graduate Highschool-- I loved working! it was one of the fonder memories I have of being a teenager-- I was 15 and hanging out with 20 somethings (the server) who were in college and would tell me all about it. The money I saved funded my backpacking trip to Europe and part of my freshman year exchange program in Israel. So, yes, there are many advantages to holding a part-time job as a High School student.
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